Wars, Real & Imagined / Meet Michael5000!

Wars, Real and Imagined: The Thursday Quiz VI

Eight hardy souls braved the brutal test that is the Thursday Quiz this week. None were confident. All did well. Funny how that works.

In the interest of disseminating historical knowledge, the answers get a post of their own this week. Here goes.

1. 1904-1905. Russo-Japanese War – Russia vs. Japan.
Yes. The Japanese spanked the Russians, mostly in a single epic naval battle, to confirm their arrival as a world power.

2. 1913. The Second Balkan War – Bulgaria vs. Greece and Serbia.
Yes. The Second Balkan War was kind of a warmup for World War I.

3. 1922. The Maple Leaf War – Canada vs. France.
No Maple Leaf War. Yet.

4. 1932. The War of Disunification – Portugal vs. Spain.
No War of Disunification, either.

5. 1935. The Second Italo–Abyssinian War – Italy vs. Ethiopia.
Yes. Mussolini's Italy invaded the ancient African kingdom of Ethiopia to kick off the planned sequel to the Roman Empire. Didn't work out.

6. 1969. The "Football" War – El Salvador vs. Honduras.
Yes. The "Football" War between El Salvador and Honduras was brief but real. American newspapers grossly overstated the extent to which it was about soccer, though.

7. 1971. The Bangladesh Liberation War – West Pakistan (subsequently just Pakistan) vs. East Pakistan (subsequently Bangladesh).
Yes. The civil war between the two halves of Pakistan was complicated by the 1500 miles worth of India in between.

8. 1973. The Yom Kippur War – Israel vs. Egypt and Syria.
Yes. The Yom Kippur War is also called "The Ramadan War." Kind of depends on which team you were rooting for.

9. 1978-1979. The Uganda-Tanzania War – Uganda vs. Tanzania.
Yes. Tanzania invaded Uganda to help depose Idi Amin, whose crap had started spilling over the borders.

10. 1982-1984. The Venezuelan War – Argentina and Ecuador vs. Venezuela
No Venezuelan War.

11. 1988-1994. The Nagorno-Karabakh War – Armenia vs. Azerbaijan.
Yes. The Nagorno-Karabakh War, a grim and sordid affair, nevertheless has the coolest name of the 20th Century wars.

12. 1989. "Operation Just Cause" – The United States of America vs. Panama
Yes. "Operation Just Cause" ("Just 'Cause"?), the American invasion of Panama, was named by the master ironists of the first Bush administration.


Blythe scored an impressive 10/12 for the gold star, and also deserves kudos as the only contestant to correctly acknowledge the Football War.

Rex Parker, with 9/12, keeps his unbroken streak of stars going and takes home the silver.

The blue goes to MyDogIsChelsea, also with 9/12.

And we have a green star this week, for the lovely and charming Mrs.5000, who checked in a little later in the day with another 9/12 score.


State of Play

I received a question about overall standings a few days ago. Aw, who's keeping score... Well, I am of course! And here's how things look in the trophy case:

Karin: 2 gold stars
Rex Parker: 1 gold, 3 silver, 2 blue
Blythe: 1 gold, 1 silver
Rebel: 1 gold, 1 blue
Jessica: 1 gold
Austin: 1 silver
Jenny!: 1 silver
MyDogIsChelsea: 1 blue, 1 green
Mark Witteman: 1 blue
Heather: 1 blue
ChuckDaddy: 1 green
Mrs.5000: 1 green

Meet Michael5000! the quiz.

Now here's a stupid idea we can all enjoy. It's a supplementary is/isn't quiz about your host! Me! Michael5000! Some of the following are true facts. Some are just horseshit. Which are which? Give it a whirl, let's see how you do. Or not.

1. When I was a child living on the Oregon Coast, I was the first to discover a body that had washed up on the beach.
2. In high school, I won Oregon's state high school mathematics tournament. Twice.
3. I had a full scholarship to design school, but dropped out after one semester because I thought the world of fashion was shallow and stupid.
4. I was at one time a diagnosed agoraphobic, and for several months could only leave my house with great difficulty and for limited time periods.
5. At age 26, I was a tenure-track Assistant Professor at a Midwestern university.
6. I once drove 50 miles and checked into a motel for the weekend for the purpose of breaking up with a girlfriend over the phone, knowing she wouldn't be able to come talk to me.
7. I have a definitive written record of every highway I've ever driven on or rode down.
8. I spent six days in a Kansas prison on a bogus assault charge before being exonerated.
9. I have long since abandoned store-bought undergarments in favor of much more comfortable boxers that I make myself.
10. I have never eaten at McDonalds.
11. I quit a high school teaching job two weeks into the school year on September 12, 2001.
12. I have a hard time throwing away magazines. There is a section of our basement called "The Magazine Room" where I store all of our back issues in perfect chronological order. They go back 25 years.

Good news! It's Friday!